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  • Writer's picturemia jett

Gaps In the Foster Care System

Updated: Aug 4, 2023

In 2012 I admitted myself into a drug rehab, my mom and stepdad was able to take my older kids who were in school, but not my youngest two who were not. They instead stayed with their dad, who had agreed once I was out of rehab I would get the kids back. While I was in rehab he met someone and because of her jealousy she came between me and my kids dad and my kids. I was no longer allowed to talk to them on the phone even. The woman he met was in the military, they ended up married and she was able to get an attorney through the military that fought for my kids to be given to them all the time. I had no visitations no nothing. I had to represent myself in court because I could not afford an attorney and that did not go well for me.

They ended up divorced and my kids ended up removed from his care due to neglect. I by this time was living in Colorado and he lied from the time they removed my kids from him. He told them he had no idea how to find me or any of my family, which was a complete lie. It was several months after they had been taken from him that I found this out and it was as if because of his lies that they had already formed this horrible opinion of me. They treated me as if I had just up and walked out on my kids one day and never looked back. That was the farthest from the truth. I ended up flying back to Missouri twice for court appearances, each time was never given the chance to speak or was I spoken to. It was during these court appearances that I found out their dad had been using drugs and in the year since he had them taken had never once submitted a drug test like they were asking him to do, yet he was still able to get visits with our kids. I was finally able to get them to agree for me to have contact with my kids and also supervised visits when I was able to make the trip to Missouri. Knowing that I was clean and sober I tried to fight for my kids to be reunited with me, I was living in a RV though and had two of my other kids living with me so that was not something they would consider because of the space I had.

Fast forward, my son ended up being adopted by a wonderful family they both had been placed with, my daughter has been a little harder because she has some issues. She has been in many foster homes and group homes only to keep getting moved around. I am back in Missouri now, have been for almost a year, and one of the reasons I came back here was to not only be close to family but to try and fight for my daughter. I needed her to know that she is loved and is worth fighting for. Now that I am back here close, I am no longer allowed contact with her because they said she has attachment issues, I am her mother, she has issues because she knows I came here to fight for her, and now all communication has been taken away.

I have sent letters to the judge, talked with her caseworker about starting the process of me doing whatever the courts want to get her home with me. They won't even respond to me. Every time I have found out something very concerning that has to do with my daughter I have reached out in hopes of getting her the help she needs. She had been placed in the past with family members from her dads side of the family, and had been removed for reasons I don't know. She is now placed back with one of those homes she was once before removed from. All the while she has a mother that wants her and wants to get her help that she desperately needs. Things have happened to her that she needs help getting through in order to have a chance at a normal adult life. I am at a loss, I guess if I wasn't disabled and could afford an attorney and had somewhere better to live then maybe I would have a chance. But I don't have the money for either so here a mother sits, broken hearted wanting her daughter home. With all the social media now days she is 15, so of course she has found ways through facebook to communicate with me, she just called me pretty upset that where she is now they are screaming at her calling her a whore, ect. Why? Why would they not want to reunite her with her mother? Its a pretty broken system we have. I don't know where to turn, but I want my baby girl home!

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